So, the wheels of my bus fell off on Friday night. Day 5 was supposed to be spent with me asking Kendra about 3 things I do that irritate her. Let's just say that I was irritating all day on Saturday. For many reasons I didn't choose to accept my greatness and was generally cranky for most of the day. I was able to pull out some love in the afternoon, but that was lost again by the evening. I spent a majority of the day sticking my foot in my mouth and trying to avoid Kendra. My attitude was so poor that I believed I was doing her a favor by not being around. We were able to get clear in the evening, but a miscommunication cost of greatly as we were getting ready for bed. What I'm learning about myself is that I'm great at doing and not so great at being. I can go through the steps of doing the love dare but struggle to show genuine love to Kendra. So, I was frustrated today that she wasn't feeling the love from me. While I've had 4 days of love daring, it wasn't getting me the results I expected. For some reason I believed that she would be thrilled that I was "doing" the dare. Yet her feedback is that I'm a million miles away and acting like a man on an island. I can't deny that I'm feeling the stress of making some big goals and stepping into some new attributes. Most of all my new schedule is really causing some issues with my body. I'm able to push through most days, but I get very cranky around 8pm. Not good when I'm trying to be with the kids and then spend time with her.
As for the Love dare, I'm committed to following through with this tomorrow. I'm recommitting to bringing my heart into the dare and spending quality time reading the book and applying my whole being to the purpose of the dare...to love my wife.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
If Kendra isn't feeling the love from you, I'm wondering if it's because you have lost your connection yourself to the love you feel for her. Do you truly feel that awe inspiring love that moves you and makes your heart beat faster when you think about her, or have you let life, and past arguements, or anything else for that matter get in the way?
ReplyDeleteWomen are usually very good at feeling from their man when there is something missing. I'd like you to ask yourself if you think there is something missing in your feelings and what you would truly like out of this relationship.
I truly agree that doing the love dare could be beneficial, but only if you really see the benefit to you as well. Not just as an act to try to make her happier. It sounds like what Kendra really wants is Happy Chad back. The Chad that fell in love with her in the first place.
Yet again, I can see that Jackie has a gift for speaking into others lives. This is exactly the point. I need to practice the "being" instead of the doing.
ReplyDelete