Day 40--Love is a Covenant

40 dares...unlimited capacity to love. I'm not going to say that the Love Dare has completely changed my life, but I will admit that I have a profoundly different concept of how love looks. I can experiencially state many different ways that I can choose to show my wife, children, friends, and others my love. I can especially appreciate my wife and love her even on those days when I don't feel close to her. I can chose to remain loyal and committed to my covenant with her. Truly, I've come to understand that there is so much joy in intentionally thinking about her and providing her with acts of love. My relationship is so much more effective when I'm purposeful towards Kendra. What I appreciated abou the love dare is that it gave my a framework on how I could choose to be purposeful during my day to work on my marriage and serve my wife. What is the outcome of all this? Well, I've increased the intimacy and openess with my wife 10 fold, I've created a lasting document stating my intentions to love my wife as long as I live, I've given Kendra some incredible moments of love, and I've created a blog with many thoughts and memories related to a very big goal. I've expanded my ability to love, I've learned to love talking to my wife in a non threatening way, and I've told many people that this experience is certainly worth the time. I've established a clear vision for the kind of husband and father that God wants me to be, enrolled my wife along side in my quest to grow closer to Christ, and have increased my time spent in prayer by myself and with my wife.
The most amazing thing about this whole "Love Dare" is the energy and closeness I now feel with Kendra. Much less resistance, much more personal responsibility regarding my own behaviors and choices. I am an inspiring, bold, compassionate, vulnerable husband with a focused, committed, passionate, fun wife. I truly believe that God has great things in store for Kendra and I and that we will walk daily closer to his will in our lives. I challenge anyone who wants to grow their marriage in a powerful way to complete the "Love Dare" and join me in experiencing love at a whole new level.

Day 39--"Love Endures"

Another fun dare. Yesterday we were asked to write a letter to our spouse regarding committment and resolve towards our marriage. I spent time praying about my relationship with Kendra and then let it pour out onto the page. I chose not to focus on those areas of the relationship that I have struggled in or not lived up to my end of the bargain, but really embraced this idea that everyday is new and I'm creating a #10 relationship from this point forward. I'm resolved to grow our relationship in areas that I haven't touched before...at least not really. Spiritually, Emotionally, Physically. I'm ready to go over the wall with my wife into a place of total submission to God and each other. To be open and honest with her and let her know that I'll love her regardless of the circumstances or events that take place in our lives.
This dare reminded me of a story of a pastor who's wife came down with a serious illness and was bedridden for many years. Instead of becoming bitter, the pastor chose to show his wife love by gentle lifting her daily and applying lotion to her body. He would sit by her and hold her hand, talking with her and showing her love. When his wife lost the ability to talk and control over her functions he still continued to meet her daily and love on her. Finally the wife lost her ability to recognize the man, but he still chose to meet her needs physically and spend time with her. That to me is true love, self-sacrificing love and this is where I desire to be. I'm committing to this as my goal for our marriage. 100% committed to reaching our full potential as a godly couple and creating Win-Win's for those in our life. Our love will endure...our love will fly.

Day 38---"Love fulfills Dreams"

Another great dare. This one focuses on my ability to recognize Kendra's dreams and put an action plan together to reach them. Unlike some of the other dares I see this one as very fun. How well do I know Kendra? Well I can certainly articulate her very biggest dreams. I know that she wants to travel and see the world. I know that she wants to visit USANA's Sanoviv this year. I also know that she is so very passionate about taking her vision of health and freedom to as many people as will listen. She had a dream where I would join her in that pursuit, one that I refused to complete until very recently. She looked at me two nights ago and told me that her dream for USANA has come true....her and I working together for a common goal and helping those around us in big ways. No resistence from me, no underlying desire to have her time all to myself. Yes, I've been able to assist her in her dream to reach Gold and she has shown such gratefulness towards me that I'm dreaming of her going Diamond and above. In the personal realm my wife has dreamed of taking a trip with her sisters to the East Coast. This is one dream that I'm going to step into an action plan and tell her to finalize the dates and purchase tickets. I'll lovingly let her know that I will take the kids and have a great time while she is away. Not only that I will commit to planning a December visit to Sanoviv with Kendra. She longs for this trip and wants so desperately to know what is causing her some of her ailments. I want it for her and we've talked so much about it, now I want to put it on the schedule and go along with her for the ride. We both have dreams of hosting Klemmer events and staffing all the various seminars. My wife really wants our children to complete "playful mastery" and I'm committed to this goal as well.
I can say that I have listened more to my wife and her dreams since June of 08 than all our 9 years in marriage before that. I get her passion and she is irresistable when her core beliefs about health and peoples ability to make good choices come together. I'm no longer interested in only completing my desires in life, but I get that when I help her create her dreams I'm completing mine as well. I want her to be joyful and experience true purpose. I'm feeling her wins and wanting her to grow even stronger and go higher. I've changed my perspective to fully embrace how powerful a person she is and I love her dearly. I'm in tears right now thinking about her...what a blessed person I am. I love you Kendra. Dream Big and Play Big.

Day 37---Love agrees in Prayer

Here's another dare that almost seems like going back a few weeks. Yesterday's dare was to set up a prayer time with my wife weekly and then discuss with her how this could impact our relationship. I didn't sit down with Kendra to talk about this dare as we have already established a prayer time and I have been committed to having us pray on Wed and Fri mornings together. I've also been praying before bed, almost always as a couple since rarely do we not go to bed at the same time. Last night was one of those nights that I was tired, so I went to bed before her. My experience of praying together only confirms my desire to want to complete it more. In the past I've been resistant to prayer together, mostly due to the fact that it can be a very vulnerable and raw time before the Lord. Since I've been taking on an attitude of compassion and vulnerability it has not been hard for me to initiate prayer time together. Every single time we pray together I leave feeling closer to Kendra. It is such a great way to know and share what burdens are on our heart and also what desires we have to serve the Lord. It enables us to better meet each others needs and I'm constantly thinking about the prayer requests on days when we pray in the morning. As a matter of fact, we will frequently ask each other how meetings or conversations with others went since we've talked about them. My overall perception of prayer time is that it is a necessary element to a 10 relationship. For Kendra and I to promote oneness and be as close to each other as possible setting and keeping a prayer time is essential. I'm thankful that one of the methods I can use when I'm in the 3 R's with Kendra is prayer. Taking time to give our disagreements over to the Lord and really focusing on Kendra as a person and not an object allows me to get in a space to show her love again. Powerful stuff, prayer.

Day 36--Develop a prayer routine

So the challenge for yesterday was to develop a prayer routine that works for me. Daily, habitual, specific and focused reading time that will help provide some focus for my life. I do believe the the bible is a living book, more than just words on a page it can literally speak into your life with words of affirmation or rebuke. I've realized through this process of "love daring" that those dares that have involved prayer have been very powerful. One of my main struggles through the years as a Christian has been steady Bible reading. I will go periods of time in the word, but then allow myself to wonder away from this time. I've also had the happen in my accoutability partnerships, with my children, and with my Sunday School teaching opportunities. What I liked about yesterday reading is that it focused on the idea of submission. Total submission to really look at what God's word has to say about marriage, finances, love, child raising, ect... I don't have to go it alone. What I'd like to see is a Chad that loves to get up in the morning and spend time reading the Word, then takes that reading and moves it into the decisions/choices I make that day. I'm worthy of having an exceptional relationship with my creator and having a number 10 relationship with my wife. I will commit to planning a time weekly that Kendra and I can focus on reading the Bible together and then briefly discussing how it relates to our lives. We have several formatted couples devotionals that I could use, but the biggest part is just moving forward into setting a time and place. I know that when we make this a daily routine for each of us, our marriage will blossom.