Today's dare is to remove anything that is hindering my relationship, any addiction or influcence that's stealing my affections and turning my heart away from my spouse. What better way to determine this than to ask her. Based on my conversation with Kendra we agreed that my "addiction" right now is trying for a "life of ease." While this may not be a classic addiction, it has been my idol for years and years. If I perceive something to be "work" or challenging, I run from it and avoid it. What this has meant to my relationship with Kendra is that I avoided assisting her in her business for 4 years, I avoided taking leadership steps in my church and growing as a spiritual leader because it was "work." I can say with certainty that I have gotten rid of my addiction to video games, gambling, and watching copious amounts of t.v. I was able to do this because I fervently prayed to God to help take those desires away from my heart and replace them with other pursuits. Right now, I'm committed to moving forward in many areas of my life and since I've made those committments, I've given up my focus on a life of ease and instead chosen to view my goals as essential. If they are essential then I want to complete them. With this mindset, I've grown closer to Kendra and learned to rely on her for advice and strength. We are truly a team moving forward to complete what we believe is our mission on earth. This focus has allowed from much greater growth in a very short time. I'm so thankful that God has answered my prayers and filled my heart with a longing to grow closer to Him and Kendra.
Father in heaven, continue to take those "idols" of my heart that take my away from my desire to serve you and move me farther from my wife. Replace my hardened heart with love and let me clearly see those areas where I have shortcomings. When I'm tempted to go into my shell, to run for comfort, place in my mind those things which I desire more than comfort.
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Awe inspiring. What an amazing prayer and an amazing shift in you Chad. I know it's so hard to truly remain in being all the time, but you seem to be doing a really great job of being.... if you will permit to say you are "doing" anything. :)
ReplyDeleteThis whole addiction to a life of ease really has me thinking. I tend to run from things that I perceive as hard, and yet, I seem to make everything seem hard..... so am I running from everything? And if so, what am I so afraid of?
Way to go on vulnerability, by asking Kendra what she experienced as your addiction - and great for her to be thoughtful and honest in her response.
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